Nin / Calm before the storm

Anais Nin reported when she underwent psychoanalysis that she had less of a desire to dress ostentatiously. I am feeling a similar lack of need to blog about my feelings. It always happens when I am feeling better, my diaries suddenly go unfilled and then I later find myself scouring for answers as to what went wrong. But the answers aren’t there.

I believe that I should make efforts to keep blogging. I need the record, if for nothing else, then for my memoir. Tee hee! My life, so interesting to thee.

I have betrayed my mother. I talked about her in my psych sessions. I talked about how we relate, and the mother / daughter relationship we’ve wrought. Funnily enough, these talks have made me approach our relationship in a different way, with a lighter touch, perhaps. What will I talk about next week? I think it will be love. Kalypso and Kate…Souvarine (whom I have missed terribly of late); letting go, hanging on, continuity, and platonic love of my cat. Miao.

Tonight I spent the evening snuggling, giggling and confiding with  Moonbeam, Magical Moonbeam! Life, loves, bipolar, sex, meds, community and queeritude. So nice to nibble noodles and nuzzle with a friend.

I went to the GP today, and “yay!” no STDs for Anna! She asked how my BP is going, and I was happy to say “very well”. I am finding that going to the gym is working, and I’m going to start with my sister’s personal trainer (who is a very sweet person, oh yes). I am boxing, cycling, treading on the treadmill and doing weights. I feel amazing.

It looks up.