Injuries and musings

Getting up from my desk at work half an hour ago, I found myself in tremendous pain. I’ve injured my shoulder. Ouch. Neck pain, neck pain! can barely move pain.

Still, I will get through it. Just no fast turning around. Please don’t sneak up on me!

In other musings, I am having lots of thoughts about relationships. Me in relationships. I’m wondering about the amount of drama that Kal and I can generate. Its like we make soap operas. Being wanted, being needed, respected and placed highly in a person’s life is wonderful. Its amazing. But it can be like a drug. Is it also crippling me, taking away my time and internal resources to be who I want to and need to be? Being off work sick with an ear infection yesterday gave me a lot of time to think about this stuff.

On a side note, the stuff in my ear drops is also sometimes used as an ingredient in anal sex lubricants. Analgesic, anyone??

Putting so much energy into a relationshiop - does that mean I’m sick? Is it romantic? Does it mean I am in peril? Do I need a doctor? Or can I write it all down and ask Cillian Murphy to play the lead? I have heard all these things. I don’t know which to believe. I don’t know how to go about forumlating my own answer to the problem.

I’m not feeling like I have a purpose, and I am not feeling like I have the time, the energy to have a purpose. I am not really feeling like me. Though this is all being borne from my decision 2 weeks ago to let myself be.