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Archive for October, 2007

Staving off mania

Posted in Mental Health on October 31, 2007 | 1 Comment »

I can feel it coming on.
Every other moment is de ja vu and I can see the future. I know what you did today, I know what everyone did. In my sleep, I am dreaming that I am awake and having conversations. I never need to wake up again because it all happens in my [...]

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Confessions

Posted in Me on October 30, 2007 | Leave a Comment »

I have hidden this for so long: sometimes I can read your thoughts, your feelings and the future. Your history comes to me, intact and entire, in an instant. The future is always a little bit murky, a little bit obscure, hidden by a veil.

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Approaching mania

Posted in Mental Health on October 29, 2007 | Leave a Comment »

What did it?
Paranoia. I couldn’t sleep last night until I had take 3 extra eroquel (and now I am groggy and listless, a junkie on the nod in the office). Such beauty last night, the wind and the rain, the curtain a veil that whipped back and forth diffusing coloured city lights. Paranoia. Someone somewhere is [...]

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Spaaaaaaaaaace

Posted in Friends, Love on October 28, 2007 | 1 Comment »

After a long chat / phone argument about why I am a bad cat mother, I needed space.
Space. I don’t wanna keep feeling like I owe you, Kate. I don’t wanna keep feeling like I am making it up to you, like I am forever running behind, and like I am a charity case that [...]

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Coccoon

Posted in Me, Mental Health on October 27, 2007 | Leave a Comment »

I’ve noticed that I slip into a cocoon of sleep when there is something I don’t want to deal with.
Its not good.

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PolyOz

Posted in Poly on October 26, 2007 | 5 Comments »

This polyoz email list should be called “Boring middle aged middle class cosmopolitan australians who legitimise their  patriarchal family structures by calling it polyamory instead of ‘cheating’”
 
Sorry mates, but all your families are 1 man with 2 women.

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Stripes

Posted in Body, Body Pain, Me, Mental Health, Pain, Sensation Play on October 25, 2007 | 5 Comments »

I know its wrong, but they actually help, aren’t a drug and heal very quickly.

Woohooo
Originally uploaded by Mr.Rocks

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Where to start? Where am I going?

Posted in Body Pain, Me, Mental Health, Plans on October 25, 2007 | Leave a Comment »

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Yeah, cool man. But like, where the fuck is that step? Where the fucking hell does my foot point when I make that step? Who the fucking hell is Anna Aniston, anyway?
Well today, I feel like I’ve got some answers for you. For me. [...]

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Hearts and smarts

Posted in Love, Me, Pain, Poly on October 21, 2007 | 1 Comment »

Kal has again toyed with my heart. This time, taking a pocket knife to it.

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Kate and her kin

Posted in Family, Love, Me on October 21, 2007 | Leave a Comment »

Yesterday I met Kate’s family. Really, they were quite nice. In fact, I liked them! They treated me with a friendliness and respect that I’m happy to receive (even though I was feeling disaffected, discordant and distant).
We met over a garage sale of her grandma’s. Lovely old sets of china and ceramic. Collectors perfume bottles. [...]

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