I’m moving all my things on Friday. Well - all my furniture anyway. The boxes of stuff will be dealt with a little bit differently…afterwards, I’ll do my oacking and throwing out.

I’m scanning RW’s blog for clues as to what I’m doing wrong… and can find none. Other than that she no longer lists me as a friend. No biggie. Probably not significant. Right?

I’m sure I’ve done something, but she’s not talking. I’m not guessing. Thus we find ourselves at an impasse. A polite impasse, but an impasse nonetheless.

Is it just me, or is there friction between RW and I?

I hardly have seen her lately, and our interactions have been curt. Our emails are reeking of hostility…though that could just be me and my paranoia.

I am having an angry day. Or possibly it is the culmination of an angry week? Everything gets on my nerves. Every tiny thing pressurises me so fully that I can’t think! I wish it wasn’t like this. I wish I wasn’t snappy.

I’m reading snarkiness into every conversation that I have with someone else. I think that its this kind of stuff that is really damaging to my relationships, not just the big blow-outs, but the sudden and subtle changes in character that make me suddenly very, very unlikeable.

Yep. I get sicky after museli breakfast.

Our hot water heater burst this morning. Yes, burst. Boiling water and steam started pissing from the top. RW came in to my room at about 9.15am to tell me there was water all over the floor and that she thought it was the water heater. I’d seen the water the night before and earlier that morning, and just assumed she’d dripped wet clothes over the floor.  Then she asked me to actually come and look.

Um, well. The “wet clothes drippage” water had turned into a flood of boiling water and steam. RW was standing there mopping it up. I glanced at the label on the water heater, and noticing that it said “Capacity 315L”, advised her that mopping wasn’t going to help.

We called the real estate agent and they asked us to email them about the problem, with an assurance they would get someone to deal with it “soon”. Needless to say, we called back a few times, each time explaining the situation (steam, water, flooding, probable damage). After a while, I decided to turn off the power. Then we called them again, and they asked me to turn off the water. I said “no” and the RA asked “why not”, which is when I again explained about the boiling water and steam cascading from the water heater.

My lovely mum called energy australia and spoke to Frank, who was horrified at the RA’s lasseiz faire attitude. They didn’t even ask once “are you ok”, or instruct us to remove ourselves from the danger zone. Even if they don’t give a shit about us as people, they could at least give a fuck about the OHS / insurance implications of us getting injured. But no. Instead, we got told that “this happens all the time”. Frequency does not diminish the risk, though.     

I’m really stressed about this. Moving is stressful enough, but this is just the stress icing on the stress cake. Grrr!

Today is my second day of a very low gluten diet. And I am surprised how much better I feel. Though I imagine endless challenges cooking for myself, and eating in restaurants in future.

Oh, here is a nice test: I was feeling quite at ease, and then decided to have a snack on 3 water crackers. Barely 10 minutes later, and I am feeling bilious. Burps are rising in my throat and there is a noxious sinking in my tummy.

Just sometimes I wish that you loved someone else. It isn’t often, but sometimes the problems tie themselves into such knots that I think the only way out is for the situation to not have arisen. I can imagine myself as a passive observer, offering perfectly logical advice before retiring to a safe distance.

But I’ve been there. I’ve been there when you loved someone else, not me. And all I wished was to be closer, knots and all.

I won’t give you up, but please be kind in case you change me with your bullish thrashing.

So tired and sleepy that I just need to CRY